Fiscal Funster Gifts

'I'll be honest with you - the government can't get buy on what you're making.'

I.R.S. - A non-discriminatory federal agency. We Soak rich and poor alike.

'I'll have 40 percent of what he's having.'

I've found a loophole in your loophole

"But this time we’ll get billionaires to think it’s their idea to pay more taxes."

I want to know how this guy did it! I never have enough net income left for illegal fiscal evasion!'

'Probably just another correctional movement.'

'Sorry, but Watford is not a tax heaven!'

'They tell us to spend more money to bring back the economy, and then they tell us we should pay down our debt.'

Sick of the 'Fiscal Cliff'? Cartoonists, politicos and pundits need a new metaphor!!

'Profits were very good in the first three quarters, but then in the fourth quarter the Revenue found out about them.'

"Good news - like the federal government, we're opening crazy into debt - but it doesn't matter, because the economy is sound!"

"Stop me if you've heard this before."

Chancellor of the Exchequer: RishiCash

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

British savings accounts

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

What happens when the bears are running the market.

'In order to fund your deferred compensation, we won't be paying you any salary.'

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

"Are you ready to engage with rock-rased content?"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

'It takes great courage of conviction to know you're wrong, yet still proceed forward.'

'Oh, wait. There's a note. It says; Fill her up with euros.'

'I love it when you say - 'I'm going to print money'.'

'Well, Eddy may look a bit rough, but he's good at heart - last week, he bought stocks from a company which produces cuddly puppy toys in pink ballet dresses!'

Wall Street Money Never Sleeps. They've obviously never seen my investment portfolio.

"...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name."

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

'Looks like your recovery has been slowed by a diet rich in Greece, followed by a bout of gas problems. Continue to take your QE and call me next quarter.'

10 Days Without an Interest Rate Change