Tax Funster Gifts

Income Tax Return

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

British savings accounts

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

What happens when the bears are running the market.

'In order to fund your deferred compensation, we won't be paying you any salary.'

I've found a loophole in your loophole

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

"Are you ready to engage with rock-rased content?"

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

'I love it when you say - 'I'm going to print money'.'

'Oh, wait. There's a note. It says; Fill her up with euros.'

'It takes great courage of conviction to know you're wrong, yet still proceed forward.'

'Well, Eddy may look a bit rough, but he's good at heart - last week, he bought stocks from a company which produces cuddly puppy toys in pink ballet dresses!'

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

'Looks like your recovery has been slowed by a diet rich in Greece, followed by a bout of gas problems. Continue to take your QE and call me next quarter.'

10 Days Without an Interest Rate Change

'Stocks fell on the news that whatever can go wrong, usually does go wrong.'

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

"Goodbye cruel world."

'Don't panic, folks! It's red ink, not blood!

'Probably just another correctional movement.'

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

Guess your net worth, only 25 cents.

'The increased child tax credit is supposed to stimulate the economy...so how about a raise in my allowance?'

Ten business commandments, city trading floor

"The water for your fishbowl was approved, but it looks like for now you're not getting the fish."

'That's much better.'

People often have us confused with investment bankers. We loot and plunder, leaving a mess wherever we go, and when there are complaints we claim endangered species status.