Patriot Funster Gifts

A day to thank your lucky stars.

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

Cheeze Wiz.

World Cup Fever

''The consent of the governed'? -- that could be a deal-breaker.'

'Not that slowly back...'

I've found a loophole in your loophole

"Are you ready to engage with rock-rased content?"

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

"...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name."

Pirates

The Statue of Liberty holding up an ice-cream.

"The amendments are coming next week!"

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

'Probably just another correctional movement.'

Football

The TROU of the Baroque

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

"I'm sorry, but I assumed it was a fancy dress costume..."

The last of the mullet.

Actualities - Artists abusing permission to exhibit more than three pictures this year

"It's the appendix to the Ten Commandments: The Ten Ultimatums."

Dang, another calling. This time, Avon.

I.R.S. - A non-discriminatory federal agency. We Soak rich and poor alike.

'I'll have 40 percent of what he's having.'

'I didn't know I'd need a PIN number!'

'Sorry - I've got strong views on Sunday Trading!'

Dressed as Tins

The less celebrated, but still spectacular, combover eagle.

Sick of the 'Fiscal Cliff'? Cartoonists, politicos and pundits need a new metaphor!!

'Amen will do ... You don't need to do the wave.'

'Your prayer is important to us. Please stay on your knees for the next available God.'

I don't think this "jewelry" fad will catch on.

'They tell us to spend more money to bring back the economy, and then they tell us we should pay down our debt.'