Fiscal Fortune-finder T-Shirts

'Can you get me in touch with people that own me money?'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"Good news. Your medical prognosis is right in sync with your retirement portfolio."

Chicken - "The Dow is falling...the dow is falling..."

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

It's 10 P.M. does anyone know what 'sequestration' means?

"Thanks to my cost-cutting policies, profits are up 59%."

'Worldcon' - financial statement fraud exposed.

'The financial advisor is here.'

I think I can...

'I wonder if I can increase its range?'

Share Prices - "Due to a delay in installing our new computer price system, I can give you an answer immediately."

'The very name 'windfall profits' show it's an act of god.'

"Forget about tall and handsome. What about portfolio 10 year highs and lows?"

"At last, a country that welcomes poor refugees like me..."

"I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'."

'Today, stocks dropped on poll numbers that 60% of people expected it to drop.'

"Either the fortune cookie cutter failed, or you have a lot of issues you're not telling your mother about."

"I can't keep giving you stock tips. The SEC has been making 'insider trading' inquiries."

"A fool and his money are soon parted."

After income tax, pension and national insurance I end up owing £450.

'And this is where we attempt to forecast the true size of the spending cuts!'

'That one looks like a hefty tax cut with simultaneous reduction in the deficit.'

Office of Management & Budget. Now hiring: crowdfunding expert to reduce the U.S. budget deficit.

business illustration

'And there you have it. According to our experts, the stock market will either advance, decline, or remain unchanged this year.'

"I see no new taxes, followed by some new taxes."

"Remember, Joey, Life is a good preparation for stocks -- lots of ups and downs."

'Stocks and bonds dropped...on news that 'all that glitters is not gold'.'

"Your next of kin is going to inherit a lot of money."

"Only another thousand points up and I'm even, honey."