First-time Home Adventurers Gifts

At least our marriage is build on a solid foundation.

Captain steering house through flood.

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

'Hon, I'm home!'

'How's the water skiing?'

"I finally cleaned my room. You don't think she'll look in the yard, do you?"

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

'How are you doing on your side?'

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

"Great - really great - but I'd still like to get out of the house every once in a while."

Living together, couple in love.

G.P.S. For the Home

"I get that you're cold, but does he also have to eat all our meals with us?"

Implausible Retirement Housing Options

"The clothes looked extra dirty... so I used the whole box of detergent!"

Colin attempts to be useful around the house didn't always have the desired effect.

"I'm sort of hesitant to remind him that his work-from-home days are over starting Monday."

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

"Whenever I want my mom to play fort, I just turn on news about climate change."

'You won't last ten minutes out there.'

Another over-do-it-yourself project.

Stay at Home Yellowstone.

'Back home, it's probably Happy Hour now!'

'My life is so awesome! I've got a starter job, starter house and a starter husband.'

'I knew I shouldn't have brought you along. I haven't had a hit all day.'

'I lost him in the house, but don't worry, a snake that big should be easy to find.'

"Nice, but it's still a fish bowl. We'd like something with a little more privacy."

'Give me the saw Stanley, I'm calling a professional.'

'The good news is it's not mice.'

"Every appliance, every light, every bit of electronics in the house is controlled by a single remote that I haven't yet been able to find."

Home Ship Home

"...You shouldn't by any chance be missing one of your animals?"

"It's the peacock-removal guy."