First-time Home Adventurers T-Shirts

At least our marriage is build on a solid foundation.

Captain steering house through flood.

'How's the water skiing?'

'Hon, I'm home!'

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

"I finally cleaned my room. You don't think she'll look in the yard, do you?"

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

'How are you doing on your side?'

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

"Great - really great - but I'd still like to get out of the house every once in a while."

Living together, couple in love.

"I get that you're cold, but does he also have to eat all our meals with us?"

G.P.S. For the Home

Implausible Retirement Housing Options

"The clothes looked extra dirty... so I used the whole box of detergent!"

"I'm sort of hesitant to remind him that his work-from-home days are over starting Monday."

Colin attempts to be useful around the house didn't always have the desired effect.

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

"Whenever I want my mom to play fort, I just turn on news about climate change."

'You won't last ten minutes out there.'

'My life is so awesome! I've got a starter job, starter house and a starter husband.'

'Back home, it's probably Happy Hour now!'

Another over-do-it-yourself project.

'I knew I shouldn't have brought you along. I haven't had a hit all day.'

'I lost him in the house, but don't worry, a snake that big should be easy to find.'

Stay at Home Yellowstone.

"Nice, but it's still a fish bowl. We'd like something with a little more privacy."

'Give me the saw Stanley, I'm calling a professional.'

"Every appliance, every light, every bit of electronics in the house is controlled by a single remote that I haven't yet been able to find."

'The good news is it's not mice.'

'Sorry, Mr. Reed. We thought we had a great new house-moving technique until the wind shifted.'

Home Ship Home

"...You shouldn't by any chance be missing one of your animals?"