First Marriage Gifts

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"Oh, that - that's the hard drive from my first marriage."

Two Brides - Just Married.

'I'd like a ring, but nothing too expensive. This is only my first marriage.'

"He sounds like a classic first husband."

"Till death do us part? Hey, I thought this was just supposed to be a starter marriage!"

'Do you suppose nobody pays any attention to us because we've only been married once?'

'... And do you James, take Cathy to be your lawfully wedded first wife?'

'I'd like a ring, but nothing too expensive. This is only my first marriage.'

He's not bad for a first husband.

'Oh, go ahead and marry him, dear -- get it out of your system.'

First Marriage

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

"She loves you... yeah... yeah... yeah..."

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

What an afternoon. Rudy, listen to me. It didn't mean anything. You can't play Xbox 360 all afternoon with a guy and pretend it means nothing. I was drunk! You loved it - all of it. The racing and arcade games, the first-person shooters, but especially ... No ... WWF Wrestling Smackdown. I'm a married woman!

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

"Yes dear, I know lots of people have a second honeymoon. But we only got back from our first one last week."

First love.

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

Pete was too shy to tell Jenny how he really felt about her instead he just sent flowers over the internet.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

"OK, now what?"

'And do you promise to be the one out of two marriages that does not end in divorce.'

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

"Lets watch a martial arts movie."

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

'When you're in love, it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life!'

'Young Love'

"Sure, I'd get married again, but who wants a she-wolf with two adopted children?"

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'