First Hunting Trip Gifts

"Heck of a shot, son, but that's not a deer."

A hunter hitting his first bird.

"Ahhh... close enough."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"And where have you previously moused?"

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 9.

Duck Hunt

Marshmallows

'I really don't think mouth-to-mouth wroks on fish, Ben.'

Deer Season Open.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Tallyho!"

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

Bear Hugging Season Open

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

A Bloody Butcher

'Hey - my dad promised that I'd get a gun.'

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

'So who needs sonar?!'

'You caught it, you gut it!'

'Give me your paw, Ben, please, give me your paw!'

"... and what’s even worse – I spilled my beer!"

'You're not supposed to catch them!'

"I warned you about the recoil on that one."

"I'd go with you, but I'm a non-sporting breed."

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

Pointing.