First Gallery Showing T-Shirts

"Your work holds up quite well, Ben."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

'It's a Joan Biro.'

Painting taking root...

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

Art Gallery.

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

Private Viewing

"I've just got this sudden craving for pizza."

"I read 'Art News.'"

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

'Is this any way to treat a budding genius?'

Leaves falling out of a painting.

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

Dogs looking at a fire hydrant in an art gallery.

The less one gets it, the more it's art.

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

Instant art

'Yes, I'm very excited. I really think that I will make my mark as a surrealist miniaturist.'

Francoise Gilot

'You're no Pollock.'

"Billy is turning out to be quite the little artist."

"You don't look a day over 30,000."

"It's a great work!"

Understanding art.

"While, yes, I could produce those strokes, I lack the context to position an image in the ongoing conversation of contemporary art as enclosed by capitalist forces."

'Poor thing. He got left out in the acid rain.'

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'