First Device Gifts

"It's been so nice getting to interact with you for these past six years. Here's your first device."

"They grow up so fast. From Mother Goose to Google."

e-shoes

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

WiFi Signals

"Toi Toi Toi!"

Piano Recital

"This is Blackjack, come in Yahtzee."

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"I neeeeeeed neeeeeeed neeeeeeed my iPhone!"

'My first camera'

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

The Inexperienced Cook

"Siri meets Alexa" "What can I help you with?" "I'm sorry, I can't answer that."

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

This is Twig's scene. Get ready! That's her! Where? There! Too late. Nice shot of Jessie Caldwell. Wasn't she fabulous.

"Its's a beautiful day. Why don't you play outside?"

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

"‘How I Spent My Summer Vacation in a Freaking Gymnastics Camp and Nearly Broke My Neck,’ by Delia McConnell."

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."

"Siri, am I ready to take a look at the dessert menu?"

I just realized how vulnerable I am to people who could hack my phone, my self-driving car, my tv, my garage door opener … So I bought a device called "Trojan Horse: that's supposed to protect me from all that. It connects to my wifi router. It monitors all my web traffic, all my connected devices, and ... well, I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it's supposed to keep the hackers out somehow. What did you say the device is called again? Now I don't worry about anyone hacking my toaster.

'Look, dear. Our printer's first words.'

"Remember when we used to waste our entire lives for free?"

"So...have you ever kissed a girl before?"

I got you a 20th anniversary present. An iPhone charger? An actual, real gift? What's the catch? House of Java Cybercafe. No catch. For the last 20 years, you've been the best whipping boy I've ever had. You're a complete tool of the technology industry. You've been a real pleasure to mock. In fact, the last 20 years of making fun of your pathetic life has made this two rewarding decades. Plug back in, whipping boy! I will outlast you, smelly old bat!

"You fix it by buying a new one."

"This is the closest I've come to owning a car!"

"I can't believe my first published short story is about me."

"Okay. You have two choices. Jump - and discover the joy of flight. . ."

'Great, Shannon! Don't move! This is the best flycatcher we've ever had!'

Another opening, another show!

"I..I've forgotten my line! Please read forward and return to me later!"

Large handbook for hand held PCs.