First Day Back Gifts

"If someone hugs me my first day back, I'm going to just break into pieces."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

"And this is my junior partner, my son, Ira."

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

"And so another trip comes to an end...with family brought closer together by a shared experience."

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

'You may feel lost and insignificant at first working for us.'

'Welcome back, Mary. How were the vacations?'

Don't be afraid, dear. It's safer than driving.

"Home is where the WiFi is."

"Nice to have you all back at school, tap-tap, there are lessons to learn."

Choosing What To Wear.

"Here we use the email term 'out of the office', not 'away lazing on a Spanish beach, without a care in the world.'"

"This is my first day. I don't have any yet."

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

''The cow jumped over the Moon'? -- is this creationism or something?'

Harv works the red shift.

John was bck from extended leave, but he hadn't quite got in the swing of things yet.

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

"I realise that you're trying to impress your new employers on your first day, dear. But, this is our car!"

"We need to hire more women."

"Starting at a new agency can be overwhelming. Let me show you around."

Did You Miss Me?

Excess Baggage: For many of us 'Roughing it' means staying at a hotel without room service.

Mommy and I are back from New Zealand. How was your trip? It was great. I got to see where the Hobbits lived. And there was green everywhere. Then we had to go. They wouldn't grant you and your mom refugee status? No. We tried Antarctica after that. We tried real hard to fit in. But the penguins just would not accept us as part of their society. Tell your mommy Trump's only going to be president for eight short years.

"I've managed to arrange cover while you're on holiday. Janet has cancelled her honeymoon and John will probably be able to have his operation next year. You just go off and enjoy yourself."

"The Day Center called. They say your little girl is resisting arrest."

"So how was your first day of teaching?"

'It's good to be back, Ms. Norton.. did anything important happen while I was away?'

'You must be one of the newest hires.'