First Day Jitters Gifts

"It's his first day of school!"

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

Speed Dating for Turtles

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

"And this is my junior partner, my son, Ira."

'You may feel lost and insignificant at first working for us.'

Don't be afraid, dear. It's safer than driving.

"If someone hugs me my first day back, I'm going to just break into pieces."

"Nice to have you all back at school, tap-tap, there are lessons to learn."

Choosing What To Wear.

Harv works the red shift.

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"This is my first day. I don't have any yet."

''The cow jumped over the Moon'? -- is this creationism or something?'

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

"We need to hire more women."

"Starting at a new agency can be overwhelming. Let me show you around."

Did You Miss Me?

"I realise that you're trying to impress your new employers on your first day, dear. But, this is our car!"

"I came here because my podiatrist said he couldn't help me with my cold fee."

"So how was your first day of teaching?"

I'll have that first pair you showed me. Sorry, they were sold an hour ago!

Newly Qualified Teacher.

"The innocence seems forced."

'You must be one of the newest hires.'

'Last seen running away from St. Paul's Church...'

"Decaf, Sid?"

"It's our standard contract. You agree to be a powerless and insignificant cog in our vast corporate machine and we agree to oil you occasionally."

'Oh, you'll like school -- It's like Sesame Street, only in 3-D!'