Fire Service Manager Gifts

"Now let's see you run a hundred yards with a modern management team on your back."

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

"One day son, all this will be run by robots."

Meet the new factory manager.

"He excels at putting out fires."

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

The Quotable Ben Franklin. To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals. And not flying thy kite during thunderstorms might help, too!

'Look on the bright side: now we qualify for an energy-conservation award.'

Tata: Goodbuy or Goodbye?

U.S. Manufacturing - Good News & Bad News

'I'd rather we don't mention this in the annual report.'

Satis Factory Tour

'But we spend all our money creating toxic waste. We were hoping someone else would figure out how to detoxify it.'

"The blaze has taken hold on the eight floor Chief. The C.E.O., V.P. and C.O.O. are trapped in the boardroom!!"

An argument between a passenger and a train porter.

'I've created hundreds of jobs. Of course, they're all going to be automated.'

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

Acme Petroleum, since 1925 and 9/10.

'Wow. The anti-smoking movement really has been successful.'

Pollution Look

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

Hurricane damage to trees

'One day, this will all be your fault.'

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

Factory chimney coming from top of globe.

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

'Sorry dad - it won't happen again,'

Fire Assembly Point

Mother nature mourns the state of the world.

Firemen trying to rescue a monk from a burning monastery

They couldn't Convince Jimmy, the Smoke-Detector Salesman, that he hadn't gone to Heaven

"There - now we're environmentally responsible."

"Sorry, we only do cats in trees."

"What a coincidence, this letter complaining about our paper mill polluting the river is written on notepaper printed there...."

"We'll feel pretty silly if it's downgraded to a tropical storm."