Fire Department Personnel Gifts

'Obsolete: Any state of the art equipment you bought last year for $250,000.'

Flipping the Script

'By the way, there's a seminar next weekend on how to slide down the pole.'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

Woman escapes with cats.

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

'I said 'Shall I put the cat out?''

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"I came as soon as I got the message!"

The New Normal

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

"Wow, these e-readers take forever to burn..."

Buddy hadn't learned from the time his tongue got stuck.

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

"These are the environmentalists who set the Amazon forest on fire!"

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

Fire door.

Boston Marathon: The First Responders.

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

"First save Mister chomp-chomp!"

Burning love

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'