Fire Department Professional Gifts

Worst Halloween ever...

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

Woman escapes with cats.

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

'I said 'Shall I put the cat out?''

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

"I came as soon as I got the message!"

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

The New Normal

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

Buddy hadn't learned from the time his tongue got stuck.

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

"Wow, these e-readers take forever to burn..."

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"These are the environmentalists who set the Amazon forest on fire!"

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

Fire door.

Burning love

"First save Mister chomp-chomp!"

Boston Marathon: The First Responders.

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'Oi, call the fire brigade, my foot's stuck.'

No Smoking.

Firefigher arm-wrestling with a dragon.