Fire Pit Enthusiasts Gifts

"At first I was concerned about the Earth opening up. But I was going to build a fire pit, so it actually saved me a lot of time."

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

They discover fire and we spend all day cooking!

"The blaze has taken hold on the eight floor Chief. The C.E.O., V.P. and C.O.O. are trapped in the boardroom!!"

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."

The man who discovered smoke

Ball pit

Scotland Yard - coal heavers singing in a public house

The sound of a crackling fire licking at seasoned logs...

The Biggest Forest Fire Starter

'Look, fire is fire - Why try to develop theories about it?'

I tried insuring my house over the phone but they insisted on seeing it. It was on fire at the time...

'You know, dad...a campfire is nature's TV, but with only one channel.'

"If our heating bill goes up because of this, I'm blaming you."

'It freaks me out that you're keeping your dead mum preserved in Formalin on the mantelpiece!'

Studying Fire Behavior

Collecting logs

"I'm thinking that I may move hell to the west coast of the United States. There's more fire there."

Smiley

Dog with chew toy.

"The heat of the flames on my feet makes me feel thankful my feet aren't on fire."

When Pyromaniacs Buy A Home: 'This is a great starter home.'

Collecting wood for the fire.

"Since he discovered fire, he's done nothing but binge-watch."

'And best of all, it kills germs that cause bad breath!'

"It's a nonworking fireplace, but Ursula loves to fantasize."

'Fred insists on giving something up for Lent!'

“The children claimed to love nature, even as they warmed themselves by roasting the dismembered limbs of the tree’s mother.”

Smoking Section

The Winter Chimney Cleaner

Curl up in front of a roaring fire tonight.