Fire Hydrant Aficionado T-Shirts

'I don't know art, but I know what I like.'

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

Relaxing in front of a fire.

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

"If history has taught us anything, it's taught us that there have been a ridiculous number of books written about history."

'Even down here we never lose our sense of humor!'

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

The man who discovered smoke

"I'm addicted to water."

Smokey Bear crying because of deliberately started forest fires

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

Two Cats 'I just love curling up without a good book.'

"It just doesn't crackle like the one on Netflix."

Life Imitates Arf....

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

I tried insuring my house over the phone but they insisted on seeing it. It was on fire at the time...

'Look, fire is fire - Why try to develop theories about it?'

"It's cut my heating bills right down."

An snail shell with a chimney

The best apartment at The Maypole

Dragon fireplace

"The house needs to have comfortable window ledges. Lots of windows! And a fireplace!"

'I hear Oog gave up inventing.'

'Let's get some sheep, and don't worry if the shepherd has fire: I'll take care of it...'

"I'm thinking that I may move hell to the west coast of the United States. There's more fire there."

'I'm not putting it out. There's enough oak in this Chardonnay to keep this fire going all night.'

'Another one. Do you realize that will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

'You'd better get something for that sneeze. We can't keep coming out like this.'

"Where did you get that?"

'How many times have I told you not to play with matches?'

A pet dragon stokes the fire in a man's heater.