Fire Buff Pillows

Fire Sale.

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

Wordplay: Gastropod.

Obsession with the Internet.

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

'Hey, buddy, do you mind lending me a hand? I appear to be stuck in this thing.'

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

Bees v Wasps

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

"No son of mine is going into entomology."

'You've had enough.'

"Very few people are aware that the 'New York Times' Sunday crossword puzzle is contagious."

'D'you have any salt?'

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

'McWit, I'd like to talk to you about your blood classification system.'

'Times are tough, Smith, but I don't want to lay you off. So, to keep you working, I want you to wash our building. That should keep you busy for the next decade.'

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

"Now calm down Ma'am. If you want to report a murder I'll patch you through to Detective Malone in homicide. This is Sergeant Flanagan....Insecticide!"

'Wow. The anti-smoking movement really has been successful.'

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

'What ever happened to that persnickety inspector?'

The Coffee Tattoo

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist