Finishing A Manuscript Gifts

"We're still pretty far apart. I'm looking for a six-figure advance and they're refusing to read the manuscript."

"The world isn't ready for a book like this. How would you feel about publishing it posthumously?"

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"I read your manuscript with interest."

A writer falls asleep over their manuscript

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

Trilby - Finis

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

Pesky students.

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

Editor.

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

'Thank god for the spellchecker!'

Publisher to writer: 'It was a great read, except I collided with run-on sentences, tripped over broken English and got knocked about by a dangling participle.'

"We do not usually acknowledge unsolicited manuscripts, but we want you to know that we tore yours into tiny pieces. Yours sincerely, The Op-Ed Page."

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

"Your book stinks—we want to publish it."

A man crosses a fountain pen bridge to reach books.

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

A monk illustrates a manuscript with emojis

"We'll publish your book, doctor, but we'll have to get a second opinion."

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

"I just want to say thanks for getting me into this writing group."

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

Proceedings of the club

'Your new book is full of mistakes: the critics will have a field day.'

'As is the fashion these days, it's about nothing.'

"Right here is where you lost the narrative flow."

'You will write a book, but it won't be on Oprah's recommended list.'

"They have a wonderful author-editor relationship."

Hope you're still writing that novel!