Finds Humor In Daily Struggles Gifts

Insurance Claims Offices: Push and Pull the Other One!

'You can't cash your paychecks until your 6 month probation is satisfactorily over.'

IRS. That was a rough audit. They disallowed all of my deductions! You can't claim all these people as dependents ... The business expenses are not correct ... and the charitable contributions don't meet guidelines. You're shredding my return with that?! Wow! Ut was The Taxes Chainsaw Massacre!

I don't understand why I need a referral from my primary-care doctor to see a specialist I've already seen, who told me himself to come back for a follow-up visit. That's just the way it works. You'll also need a referral from your tailor before we can put you in a hospital gown.

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

'How much for you to do my tax return?'

'Stop complaining. We can't afford business class any more.'

'My 'harrumphs' are losing their volume.'

'We found the only significant impact diet books had was if we made people eat them!'

'Your extensive anxiety condition was brought about by worrying about a national health plan.'

'Albert Figgis gets board backing.'

Shoveling Snow

At first she didn't want to live if it meant being attached to tubes. But before you knew it, they were getting along just fine.

'Carol, get your protective headphones on'

'I had a really bad day at work! . . . I was expecting it to be utterly horrific. . . but in the end it was just really bad. . . My cracked glass is half full!'

'Bill got sacked, sleeps on a park bend and eats dog food. He's the most motivational speaker we've ever had.'

'I'm not asking you to lie - I'm just asking you to go insane.'

"And so now I'm supposed to be the faithful companion who goes for help?"

'...And here, on line 27, where you say 'Beam me up, Scotty'....'

'These shooting sticks are not very comfortable!'

McWit's Childproof Drugs

'Then again, it probably wasn't that bad. I do tend to exaggerate.'

"Your Grandfather's gone to a better place."

"You have three weeks to live, and I'm afraid they're in Feburary."

"Are you sure this is what the man who attacked you looked like?"

Advanced Paper Training

General Dentistry.

"The most painful thing about the breakup was the tattoo removal."

'Not only did life pass me by, it HIP-CHECKED me!'

New Graduate: Entering real life.

'Was that you who screamed?' - 'No, the dentist.'

'This divorce is so bitter I hope he wants it so bad he can taste it.'