Finding A Match Gifts

Blind date with girl with elephant trunk for nose

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'Fred, don't you think you're over doing it a bit?'

Tasty.

Ultimately love would find her...

'Wow - My kind of man.'

Cupid

Single men in Tahiti

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

'We met online.'

'Dream-dates don't normally go for nightmares.'

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

'...And preferably someone with a blood donor card.'

'Always the usher, never the bride.'

"We met online, it was love at first site."

'Here we've both been, breaking our necks to meet the right person, and BAM!'

"My mating dances were unsuccessful, so I tried reciting poetry: didn't work either..."

'Dear Dairy, Well... I met someone, and I think she could be Mrs. Alright.'

I knew a guy who was born with a sidelong glance. . .

"We met on Agnostic Rendezvous."

"First, you will meet Mr. Hot. Next, you will meet Mr. Cool. Then you will meet Mr. Right."

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

"You're looking for love in all the wrong places, Harold."

"Believe it or not, we met on a speed date!"

'....in fact, I don't even know why Mrs. Goldberg put us together.'

"I think they'll be perfect together. He's a journalist and she's a complete composite."

"I was looking for my soul mate - now I'm just looking for someone who's not on a special diet."