Searching For The One Gifts

'I want a husband who is handsome and perfect in every way. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?'

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

Still searching for my Prince Charming.

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

Biological Cuckoo clock

Financially Secure Romantic with sufficient fire in belly seeks damsel in distress...

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

Single men in Tahiti

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"You like taking long walks in the rain? My dogs will love you!"

"Being a refrigerator magnet is fine, but I wish, for just one day, I could be a chick magnet."

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Here's Waldo

"...Also, true love is eventually tax deductible."

"Sure, I can help you improve your mating call: that's my specialty..."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

Sue believed that one day she would find her soul mate - and her missing sock.

'...And preferably someone with a blood donor card.'

'Always the usher, never the bride.'

"We met online, it was love at first site."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'I'm not sure we have a girl with THAT good a sense of humor.'

It was official. She was desperate.

"Speed daters! Say hi within the hour!"

Despite wanting to date a man who was 'young at heart', Beryl couldn't help but feel a little disappointed with her blind date.

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

'Okay, this time we'll try for someone with a really good sense of humour.'

ACME COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'She should be attractive, intelligenty, charming, and funny, or best offer.

'This sounds good. Sensitive, professional male, 30-35, enjoys long slithers along the beach...'

"My mating dances were unsuccessful, so I tried reciting poetry: didn't work either..."

"You're looking for love in all the wrong places, Harold."

"He's been mentioned as a possible husband."