Searching For The One Gifts

'I want a husband who is handsome and perfect in every way. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?'

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

Still searching for my Prince Charming.

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

Biological Cuckoo clock

Financially Secure Romantic with sufficient fire in belly seeks damsel in distress...

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

Single men in Tahiti

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"You like taking long walks in the rain? My dogs will love you!"

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"Being a refrigerator magnet is fine, but I wish, for just one day, I could be a chick magnet."

Here's Waldo

"Sure, I can help you improve your mating call: that's my specialty..."

"...Also, true love is eventually tax deductible."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

Sue believed that one day she would find her soul mate - and her missing sock.

"We met online, it was love at first site."

'...And preferably someone with a blood donor card.'

'Always the usher, never the bride.'

"Speed daters! Say hi within the hour!"

"He's been mentioned as a possible husband."

It was official. She was desperate.

"You're looking for love in all the wrong places, Harold."

Despite wanting to date a man who was 'young at heart', Beryl couldn't help but feel a little disappointed with her blind date.

"My mating dances were unsuccessful, so I tried reciting poetry: didn't work either..."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

'How will I know when I've found my soul mate, Fang?'

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

'Okay, this time we'll try for someone with a really good sense of humour.'

COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'I'm not sure we have a girl with THAT good a sense of humor.'

People who don't believe in soulmates just haven't met the right animal.