Financially Savvy Sister Gifts

"Actually, living well on his money is the best revenge."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Saving for Retirement.

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

Because of our tightening budget, I had to turn off the lights at the end of the tunnel.

Sunshine Retirement Villa: Pool, Golf, Tennis and Financial Planner.

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

"You were the one who said we couldn't afford a new vacuum, so stop moaning and suck harder!"

The banks shoving the earth off the wall like Humpty Dumpty.

"Sara, we think you have a Dostoyevsky problem."

"When I bought, they called it a fixer-upper. After ten years and $175,000 worth of renovations, it's now called a tear-down."

"We put you through day-care. You're on your own now."

"Papi, do we have enough net financial assets to meet essential living expenses for nine months if our source of income disappears?"

Display of graduation cards labeled: over $10,000 in loans; over $25,000 in loans; over $50,000 in loans; over $100,00 in loans

"Money from the Tooth Fairy, eh? Don't forget to declare capital gains!"

Chained CPI

Baby buying shares

'Remember...change comes from within.'

"Mom, if this is putting a strain on our finances, I could take a year off."

'Once they're born they immediately begin to depreciate.'

"And to think I used to worry about her showing up on our doorstep with a little bundle of joy..."

'Making me laugh is not going to help your overdraft, Mr Hambone.'

'I'm not trying to be romantic. I've had my electricity cut off.'

Heating Bill Prison

'You must think I'm made of money! We can't afford both a cruise and a divorce in the same year!'

'Waltrip has Male Pattern Salary.'

'Look at that; we got a table with the same number as your credit score.'

College. Here's your diploma

Safe investor

Bomers and Bummer

Comparison Site: Switch Energy Supplier/Ignore, Have A Cup Of Tea.

Cost of Education.

"She's in a borrowed dress and I'm in a rented tux...throw money!"

"It was a scam, but how was I to know..."