Financially Savvy Senior Gifts

Sunshine Retirement Villa: Pool, Golf, Tennis and Financial Planner.

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

Hell, "I think there's been some sort of mistake, I still owe my soul to the mortgage company"

'I hear the market went on quite a roller coaster ride today.'

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

Because of our tightening budget, I had to turn off the lights at the end of the tunnel.

'It's not my childhood that traumatised me. It's the size of your bills.'

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

"You were the one who said we couldn't afford a new vacuum, so stop moaning and suck harder!"

"This is Thurgood. He specializes in beaten-down stocks."

"I'm so much more relaxed now that I got a reverse mortgage."

The banks shoving the earth off the wall like Humpty Dumpty.

"I hate to ask for money, but I have a lot of student loans to pay off."

"It's cut my heating bills right down."

"Don't complain to your dad about your student loans. He's still paying his off."

"The Chancellor insists on people getting 'advice' on what to do with their pension ports if they cash them in."

"It's cheaper to buy soap in chunks instead of bars. Just chip off what you need."

"In going over your retirement papers, Wilcox. I've discovered you owe your soul to the company store."

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

"Harold, have you reaped huge gains that you have not told me about?"

'The good news is that the person who stole your identity is spending a lot less money than you were.'

"Someone forgot to pay this bill so they're repossessing our furniture."

'Dad, can I put my pocket money into a pension fund to protect me from the economic winter?'

'Those growth funds you sold me didn't work.'

"Papi, do we have enough net financial assets to meet essential living expenses for nine months if our source of income disappears?"

Non-Profit-Organization

'It's the bank's Small Business Advisor to see you, dear.'

Staying together for the pension.

"Carl has decided that, with the economy being the way it is, he's going to be a stay at home son."

'Why don't you put your money in the Bank, instead of stuffing it under the mattress?'

Building society, savers rates -"Well, what shall we do with the interest, leave it in or withdraw it and buy a pot of tea for two?"