Financially Savvy Couch Potato Pillows

Comparison Site: Switch Energy Supplier/Ignore, Have A Cup Of Tea.

'She'll never look for me here.'

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

"Great idea. Movies are so much better on the big screen."

Saving for Retirement.

Happy Brithday

"My fit watch has conspired with the TV remote. The remote only stays on some fitness channel until I get up and exercise."

It's 10 P.M. does anyone know what 'sequestration' means?

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

Advanced Zen for Couch Potatoes: Earl becomes One with his Lazy-Boy.

"Business has picked up since we introduced short term cryogenic stays for the football off season."

'The Cup Final's just starting-think I should wake him?'

Tonight, on the microwave channel... chicken pot pie!

'I only come to the game for the half time entertainment and snack bar privileges.'

Easy Listening for lazy people.

"You were the one who said we couldn't afford a new vacuum, so stop moaning and suck harder!"

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

"You have to start exercising. Running your mouth, skipping breakfast, and jumping to conclusions doesn't count."

RETIREMENT VOWS

"It's 10000 steps a DAY, not a YEAR!"

"This recliner comes with a fitness tracker."

'Sorry, we couldn't pry the remote from his fingers.'

"Haven't you heard? Twenty's the new ten!"

'Put it on my 'to do' list...'

'Very good, Now ten more reps...and a one, and a two and ...'

"Let's fight obesity - left leg up..."

'Grandma said the only thing you like to draw is your pension!'

"You'd get up and take out the trash if your activity tracker told you to."

'You need an exercise program other than bar-hopping.'

My dad likes watching documentaries.

'I've been thinking, Mother - if the whole civilised world was destroyed and we were the only ones left alive . . . there's no way I'd want to change a thing'

"Say, Fred – this is Wally. How about a beer?"

Man's fear of commitment extends to the television, where he cannot decide on a program.