Financial Wit Appreciator Gifts

'I wish I had a dime for every prey that's escaped, then I could afford to eat out once in awhile.'

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Cat Burglar

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

Voltaire

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

God bless our home equity line of credit.

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

Geezernomics - Crash of 1929.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"Can you estimate how much money you'll need for your mid-life crisis?"

"Think nothing of it, Llewellyn. In every large organisation there are leeks."

"My plan moving forward involves fire and Brazilian passports."

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

I need a raise. This is no time to joke. I've been on a buying binge at the iPhone app store and I can't pay my credit card. These apps are worth it. They're life-changing, they're

"Where do you get your inspiration?"

'Sir, remember that 'we're finally out of the red' party that we threw last week?...It put us back in the RED.'

'How can you stand to listen to dozens of crazy people and stay sane?' - 'Who listens?.'

Plays well with other people's $.

"Getting a little thin on top and dull below, eh Pop?"

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

The People versus McGinley gets acrimonious.

Dorothy Parker at the Algonquin Round Table

'One day I just decided, screw it - I'm as rich as hell and I'm not going to fake it anymore.'

"Uh. . . Ooh. . . Here come the know it alls again!"

"Your tech gadgets will become obsolete, but the nice thing about money is it never goes out of style."

Circus. I'm giving up the seltzer bottle as a comedy prop and will do a more sophisticated act. Ah, dry humor.