Financial Wanderer Gifts

The Dow.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

Saving for College.

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

'Don't worry dear, I made a bundle shorting your failing financial services company'

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

"The good news is that profits are up 76%. . . The BAD news is that costs are up 83%."

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

"Before anyone gets too optimistic this is a chart of our corporate indebtedness."

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

Investment analyst Renald P. is going to frighten the market.