Financial Storytelling Fan Gifts

'I remember when all this was banks...'

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

European currency on the edge.

Economy - USA.

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

What do you suggest we do about this?

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

'I enjoy the old-fashioned pleasures - a walk on the beach, plain food and piles of cash.'

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

'Of course I'm squirreling away money!'

"Our initial public offering, .... The public has gotten wind of it!"

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

Greek Crisis

'You go without me. I'm feeling a little down today.'

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

Piggy Bank Coin I.V.

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

'And this just in from the stock market... buy, sell, buy, sell, buy, sell, buy!'

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

'Stocks were high...then low...then suddenly high again on news of a new drug to treat mood swings...'

'In today's market news, losers outnumbered those who were wiped out.'

The Cashless Society is Here

Shareholders Meeting - We will be paying a dividend but I will not be announcing it here.

"Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it."