Financial Seminars Gifts

'So you say, 'Tom, how do I become filthy rich?' Why, that's easy. By scamming others the way I'm about to scam you.'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Here we are."

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

'Before we begin, please turn off all cell phones.'

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

Thinking and thinking backwards.

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

Graph leads down into egg with a big crack.

How to engage an audience

Football is like investing. It's good to have a diversified portfolio. A team should use a balanced mix of run plays and pass plays. And sometimes the quarterback is smart to accept a sack rather than trying something too risky. Right. Take the small loss and move on. A defensive player getting a finger on a pass can have a big impact. In both football and investing a tip can be a real game changer. But some things are different. Football has nothing like a T-Bill. There are no guarant

How it feels to be in a company with poor communication.

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

"The thing is, you have to really want to change."

"We'll start with some 'ice breakers' and 'team building' games..."

'I see Phelps is back from that stress reduction seminar.'

Time management office worker

"....which brings me to number one: Thinking inside the box."

"Please refrain from throwing business cards."

Economic Conference.

"I hope I haven't taken you aback by asking you to attend the change seminar."

'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'

'Greenspan today explained the reason the Fed faises interest rates is so they can lower them again.'