Financial Savings Pillows

'Imagine how much we're saving on gas.'

"Wow! If global warming goes on it will cut our heating costs by 12 percent!"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

British savings accounts

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The day the stock market went UP.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

Watering Money

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

"Cash, Jordan. That's what separates man from the apes."

I'm not making enough money to like you.

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.