Financial Savings Prints

'Imagine how much we're saving on gas.'

"Wow! If global warming goes on it will cut our heating costs by 12 percent!"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

British savings accounts

The day the stock market went UP.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

Watering Money

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

"Cash, Jordan. That's what separates man from the apes."

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

I'm not making enough money to like you.

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'