Financial Safety Pillows

'Be careful, it looks like a scam, to me.'

Will work for ETFs

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

A smiling man leaning on large piggy bank.

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

Medical student overdrafts...careers in the law.

'Recession is when the Jones have a tough time keeping up with themselves.'

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

A Balanced budget.

"All yours, Buddy. I'm ALREADY living on house money."

Investments: Call us hopeless romantics for still believing money can make you happy!

'Does he do anything besides watch the money?'

"Wow! If global warming goes on it will cut our heating costs by 12 percent!"

'I met the greatest guy! He's sweet, he's handsome, and his insurance policy is Equity Indexed Whole Life!'

'You're lucky you're just a kid and don't have to worry about things like going out and getting a job when you're supposed to be retired.'

"Glen is a one-issue voter....medicare and social security solvency."

'Your assets are perfectly safe with us, it's ring fenced - and of course we reconcile regularly sir.'

"Ed's security blanket. Two hundred and twenty acres!"

'With these crazy markets, you have to diversify to protect your money. Put some under your mattress, some in your sock drawer, maybe some in a hole in the yard...'

'If you ask me, they're after your bank account number.'

'At last you can put your feet up and concentrate on worrying about your pension.'

"All I did was ask it if we'll ever collect Social Security and Medicare."

'Strategic plan B: we chop down all the office plants and grow vegetables.'

Aggressive investing.

'I need a bigger nest egg.'

"And why do you want to join our firm?"

'It doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl as long as it'll make enough money for a good retirement home for us!'

'Imagine how much we're saving on gas.'

"No matter what one says, a safe remains a good way to keep your money safe."

New Age: Retirement Plan

Worried about the future? We have worst-case-scenario funds!

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. IX and X

'I hope buying this house won't sink us.'

Boomers.