Financial Requester Gifts

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

Will work for ETFs

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

"Who's ready to see what's going to happen in the fourth quarter?"

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

Business Outlook

'I took my money out of the bank and put it into municipal bonds...'

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

"And this all happened in the last week..."

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

"Another organization has already researched this, but I'm afraid that if we use it, we won't get as much credit."

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

'Frankly, I'm a little concerned.'

"That 'give it away free' strategy certainly worked well."

"It's been a great year - let's hope we can keep the shareholders from finding out."

"Let's just say the value of your account has gone from jumbo to fun size."

'Say what you like about Capitalism, it makes the gravy train run on time.'

Investments: Call us hopeless romantics for still believing money can make you happy!

Happy looking manager with a bag of money

"I don't seem to be able to sniff out money like I used to."

loan

'It's a win-win, but a win-win-win would be better.'

"I always ask for a pony for my birthday. I find it gives the most bargaining room."

'The secret to staying in business, Wilson, is making something that's needed. Profit!'

"I'll take that one."

'Your good work leaves me in a splendid position. Isn't that enough reward for you?'