Financial Requester Gifts

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

Will work for ETFs

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

"Who's ready to see what's going to happen in the fourth quarter?"

'According to this, you owe $57.32 in late fees for the book 'Getting By on a Shoestring Budget'.'

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

Business Outlook

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

'I took my money out of the bank and put it into municipal bonds...'

"And this all happened in the last week..."

"Another organization has already researched this, but I'm afraid that if we use it, we won't get as much credit."

"Hang on! - we've possibly go another couple of films left in here!!"

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

'Frankly, I'm a little concerned.'

"It's been a great year - let's hope we can keep the shareholders from finding out."

"That 'give it away free' strategy certainly worked well."

"Let's just say the value of your account has gone from jumbo to fun size."

Happy looking manager with a bag of money

"We've been working all the live-long fiscal year to get these numbers up, but I'm afraid some of us are working just to pass the time away."

loan

Investments: Call us hopeless romantics for still believing money can make you happy!

'Say what you like about Capitalism, it makes the gravy train run on time.'

"I don't seem to be able to sniff out money like I used to."

'It's a win-win, but a win-win-win would be better.'

"I always ask for a pony for my birthday. I find it gives the most bargaining room."

"I'll take that one."

'The secret to staying in business, Wilson, is making something that's needed. Profit!'