Financial Puzzle Lover Pillows

How should I know up or down? All I heard was the FT was 74.95.

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

'Scientists say that crosswords activate brain...'

"Don't blame me for the grade, blame Google's algorithms."

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

'Frankly, I'm a little concerned.'

"Phew! I'm glad this part of the ride is over..."

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist, George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

'I sure wish there was a formula for picking the right mutual fund!'

"Next riddle without looking it up, can you tell me which is the routing number and which is the account?"

"If all countries are in debt, who's got all the money?"

'I can understand Heisenberg's equation and Schrodinger's equation for quantum mechanics but I cannot understand derivative trading.'

'No, 4 plus 4 isn't 7 Central Time.'

'Here's where we went wrong - you applied for chapter 11, but you only qualify for chapter 6!'

'How many pension fund managers does it take to change a lightbulb...?'

Snowman in front of IRS wears barrel

'Frankly, I'm looking for someone who's tall, dark and solvent.'

Look at what your verdict is doing to my complexion!

Everyone thinks they can do it

Zorro does algebra.

Magnifying the Euro

"We managed to make ends meet."

'Just because I understand how to maintain the Heating and Cooling systems in the world's biggest buildings doesn't mean I understand the tax code.'

"Liquidity is when you wake up one day to see your pension pot has vanished, then you wet yourself."

'Bascombe has put all his mutual fund assets into a blind trust, but it was set up so well he can't even locate it.'

Stealth Taxman

IRS, 'You were wrong -- they WEREN'T more afraid of me than I was of them.'

Man trying to grab a pension from a crane slot machine

"And that explains 'non-fungible tokens'."

'This is the technical support. To become connected to a service agent, please press the root of 576081, divided by three, times one point seven, mins 429.1.'

"I rolled my pension over and over and over, and now I have no idea where the hell it is."

'Hey, it's helped me get this video game generation interested in math...'

'If two negatives make a positive, how come two wrongs don't make a right?'