Financial Puzzle Enthusiast Pillows

"I rolled my pension over and over and over, and now I have no idea where the hell it is."

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

"Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it."

How should I know up or down? All I heard was the FT was 74.95.

I'll put this in a way you'll understand: you need to transfer your feelings from savings to checking.

'Frankly, I'm a little concerned.'

'I sure wish there was a formula for picking the right mutual fund!'

"If all countries are in debt, who's got all the money?"

"Next riddle without looking it up, can you tell me which is the routing number and which is the account?"

The Bullish World

'I can understand Heisenberg's equation and Schrodinger's equation for quantum mechanics but I cannot understand derivative trading.'

'No, 4 plus 4 isn't 7 Central Time.'

Man with a Plan

"junior, I'll explain 'taxation' to you, if you explain 'crowdfunding' to me."

'Your in great shape...'

'Here's where we went wrong - you applied for chapter 11, but you only qualify for chapter 6!'

What's a CEO's motivation?

'How many pension fund managers does it take to change a lightbulb...?'

'Yeah. It was a good day.'

'Your check to 'Hooters' bounced, ironically enought.'

Look at what your verdict is doing to my complexion!

"You can afford to retire at 65, but you'll need to die at 70."

'Good news! Some guy stole my identity online. Now he's saddled with my bad credit rating.'

"I take it your credit score has gone up?"

'The acting was awful and the plot was thin, but the mortgage rate looked interesting.'

Business Greed.

Explaining corporate restructuring to shareholders.

'Get Rich' Stock Brokers and 'Get Even' Attorney-at-law.

"This automated stock trading app can halt rallies or downturns, depending on your market strategy."