Financial Firestarter Gifts

International Speculators

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

'AAAARGH!...Get it off! Whatever the hell it is...Get it off!'

This "fire" invention is taking more wood than we expected. The First Cost Overrun.

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

Oog invented fire, then he accidentally sat in it and invented walking upright.

"Your wheel idea was a huge hit, so what have you got for me this time?"

Good luck with that quest for fire thing! I'm just going over there to eat some grass!

Me cold. Need heat cave. Fire works. To make metal tools, I need to melt these rocks. Fire works. I'd like a romantic atmosphere for my date tonight. Fire works. How should we celebrate the founding of our new nation? Fireworks!

'I was just rubbing sticks together for fun -- I didn't realize I was doing basic research.'

'I was just rubbing sticks together for fun -- I didn't realize I was doing basic research.'

'What do you mean; 'I should burn less fuel to save the environment'? I only discovered fire this morning.'

Let's make a bonfire of our troubles.

'You see this app? It starts a revolution.'

"Let's just binge watch this."

"Central heat. Pretty posh."

"My assets consist of a piggy bank, 2 teeth for the tooth fairy, and whatever change I find in the living room sofa."

"Yes, I do know how to light a fire with two sticks... Provided one of them is a match."

"Don't you love the smell of burning leather boots this time of year?"

I've invented "fire." It'll accelerate global warming and get us out of this ice age!

"For Trog, the discovery of the skewer far outweighed the discovery of fire... Incredible!"

Bonfire

"I didn't discover fire, but I was the first to encircle it with stones."

'I just discovered fire!'

"Fire down."

'Put that out! -- the tribe just went smoke-free.'

'I was told that someone's mastered the secret of fire!'

'Isn't Daddy nice? -- He invented a night light for you!'

This "fire" we discovered has gone out. I'll call tech support.

'I'm a very busy man - this way I am able to hunt and cook at the same time.'

False starts.

'I just can't keep up with all this modern technology.'

"He says 'fire no rocket science' - whatever that means."

I invent fire for the good of all mankind and he cleans up selling fire insurance!