Festive Firestarter Gifts

"Don't you love the smell of burning leather boots this time of year?"

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

'AAAARGH!...Get it off! Whatever the hell it is...Get it off!'

"Your wheel idea was a huge hit, so what have you got for me this time?"

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

Good luck with that quest for fire thing! I'm just going over there to eat some grass!

'I was just rubbing sticks together for fun -- I didn't realize I was doing basic research.'

'I was just rubbing sticks together for fun -- I didn't realize I was doing basic research.'

'What do you mean; 'I should burn less fuel to save the environment'? I only discovered fire this morning.'

Let's make a bonfire of our troubles.

"Let's just binge watch this."

Santa Randy was fired and Santa Claus got the job.

"Yes, I do know how to light a fire with two sticks... Provided one of them is a match."

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

Bonfire

International Speculators

Cow asks the horse for the carrot.

"For Trog, the discovery of the skewer far outweighed the discovery of fire... Incredible!"

'I understand that you only use your vehicle once a year, Mr. Claus, but you drive over a million miles that night. That's why your premium is so high.'

New York City Santa with huge bag hails cab.

'Frankly, I think his caroling was better before he launched a solo career.'

'I just discovered fire!'

"I didn't discover fire, but I was the first to encircle it with stones."

"My dad didn't get what he wanted for Christmas, so he went into his usual rage-display! So embarrassing..."

'I was told that someone's mastered the secret of fire!'

'Where were you on the night of October 31st?'

'I'm a very busy man - this way I am able to hunt and cook at the same time.'

'Put that out! -- the tribe just went smoke-free.'

"Fire down."