Financial Difficulty Gifts

"Even after all that's happened, I feel no less regal."

'My boy friend is having a hard time finding work -- he may have to sell his earring.'

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

'What areas?'

"C'mon sweetie—you're only as bankrupt as you feel."

"I'm sorry, Ma, but we're forced to sell the art collection."

"Never mind our get-rich scheme. We need a keep-our-heads-above-the-water scheme."

Church offering - thank you, it couldn't come at a better time.

"Pendleton will stay afloat no matter what!"

Housing problems.

"Well, you wouldn't tell me how much you earned, so I didn't tell you how much we owed."

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

Peter

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

Wanna talk about it?

'I think you've managed learning to cope almost too well.'

'No trouble at all giving you an overdraft Mr Simkins - have mine!'

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

Sales

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

"Your assets will be frozen? Oh, boy, is it going to snow?"

"With the rises in fuel, food and mortgage I'm going to have to put in some overtime."

'I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're going to get to relive the thrill of building your company up from nothing!'

'We may be bankrupt, but we're not broke.'

Easy Budget Terms Are Not That Easy.

In Case of Emergency - Break Glass and take a BIG SWIG!

'Sorry, I don't do bailouts.'

'Our vows didn't say anything about hedge fund mis-management!'

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

Remember you predicted some 'difficulties' with my bank?

No Money

"Unfortunately, my holding on to tech-stocks was faith-based."