Finance Parody Viewer Pillows

"Could you make it a dollar and a dime, sir? ? My agent gets 10%."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Spot the difference.

The truth is, Congressman, we didn't know it was wrong to screw people.

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

"Your stork analyst is here, sir."

'I think we're setting the bar too low.'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

"At least we're consistent ... "

Where Ignorance is Bliss.

Greek Crisis

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

This government special reserve fund is like a cookie jar for crooked cronies!

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

Your son has a genetic inability to calculate. This forecasts for him a brilliant career in the Ministry of Finance.

'In today's market news, losers outnumbered those who were wiped out.'

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

"We disagree with the president - we kinda like Robin Hood - we take from everyone and keep it - how much more successful can you get?"

Golden bubbles

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

'The bad news is that we're only in it for the money.'

'The 'free market' economic theory is falling!'

In case of falling markets break glass.

The Decline of the Euro.

'I blame Iceland - it's PAYBACK!'

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."