Finance Funny Bone Seeker Pillows

'And on the eighth day, God had a piece of clay left over. . . so he made a banker and. . .'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'Simply put, we are on our ninth life!'

Evolution Interrupted By Man Fishing

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

"You want to be a comedian? You can't be serious!"

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

Fetch the Boomerang

"The company only made a profit of $2 billion. So that raise you requested will have to wait."

He. 'How would you like to own a--er--a little puppy?' She. 'Oh, Mr. Softly, this is so sudden!'

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

I can't believe It!

"Our forensic scientist quit, so our computer guy has stepped in for now."

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

tax

"No Eric, you're NOT funny haha. . . you're funny peculiar. . !"

"Wise?! You believe you're wise!!"

"I only invest in alternative meat products, so I reject the terms 'Bull' and 'Bear'."

"There's no point trying to complain, everyone is on a 'customer care' course."

'Hand me that gizmo, will you please?'

"Then it's settled -- our strategy is to hope for better things."

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mister Kane...You've got 'Shingles'.'

Jerry, times are tough. I'll take your iou for $75 only if it's written on a $100 bill.

We have boorish stocks for boorish times.