Finance Funny Bone Seeker Pillows

'And on the eighth day, God had a piece of clay left over. . . so he made a banker and. . .'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'Simply put, we are on our ninth life!'

Evolution Interrupted By Man Fishing

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

"You want to be a comedian? You can't be serious!"

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

'In tonight's debate, Ms. Johnson will argue the merits of accrual-based accounting, while Mr. Wilcox will defend the 'Don't Be Accrual' method!'

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

"The company only made a profit of $2 billion. So that raise you requested will have to wait."

Fetch the Boomerang

"Our forensic scientist quit, so our computer guy has stepped in for now."

I can't believe It!

He. 'How would you like to own a--er--a little puppy?' She. 'Oh, Mr. Softly, this is so sudden!'

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

tax

"I only invest in alternative meat products, so I reject the terms 'Bull' and 'Bear'."

"No Eric, you're NOT funny haha. . . you're funny peculiar. . !"

'Hand me that gizmo, will you please?'

"Wise?! You believe you're wise!!"

"There's no point trying to complain, everyone is on a 'customer care' course."

"Okay, what if we go outside - will it still be insider trading then?"

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mister Kane...You've got 'Shingles'.'

"Then it's settled -- our strategy is to hope for better things."

Visit to the Bank Manager, "Marrying my daughter isn't the sort of security I had in mind, Harry!"