Finance Buff Pillows

'But it didn't cost anything, dear! I did it all off balance-sheet!'

"I guess that's one strategy for dealing with recent market volatility."

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"You're not allergic to molds or pollen. But you are interest-rate sensitive."

Stocks Market... "It's got an extra large hole for fat cat bankers."

'...and the Nikkei closed down on the day.'

"I must admit, I have seen bolder predictions."

Economic casualties.

Hard Libor

'My investment objective is to keep up with my neighbors, the Joneses, who just won the lottery.'

'Investors Chronicle' "How do I know whether to buy it or not?"

COUNCIL OF ECONOMIC ADVISORS, 'Really? -- I heard the same theory from MY barber.'

'How about cutting us in on this?'

"We're working on a vaccine to make portfolios immune to economic downturns."

Profits.

Bonus Culture.

'You're rating has been downgraded to junk.'

European Union Meeting

'The bad news is that we lost a lot of money last quarter... The good news is that it was a record.'

'The speech was fine, until you said self-importance instead of self-regulation.'

Outsider Trading.

Beginning to see the light?

Bank Stress Test

'Oh, the supply ship? For a second there I thought you said the stock market crashed.'

The U.S. economy heading towards a downturn

Banks hand out umbrellas in good weather and take them back when it rains.

'Of course I'm happy to give you an estimate of our fees as long as you realise it will be nowhere nearhow much it will cost you.'

'Her pension fund must of collapsed like ours did.'

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

'You've been hard at work on my account, judging from the number of prospectuses I throw away unopened each week.'

A day in the park

'Today the stock market was up on rumors that money actually can buy happiness.'

"The market was down today on fears of fear itself."

'Suppy-side and demand-side economics are nothing compared to bailout-side economics.'