Final Innings Expounder Gifts

Man on death bed, hand in clouds through window like umpires, 'The final out'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Church for sports worshipers.

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

Make your resolutions achievable.

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

Baseball batting cage theater La Cage Aux Folles.

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

Vendor selling testosterone.

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

Woman thinking about luxuries.

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Am Awful Crammer.

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'

'I don't have enough money for a tip, but feel free to eat the leftovers!'

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

Platter confusion.

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"You and your daft inventions."

"We make substitutions within reason, Madame. We can give you courgettes instead of the aubergine, but we cannot provide Jean-Louis Trintignant in place of your husband."

'It feels warm enough to me.'

"Only 35% CACAO? I'll have to eat TWICE as much then!"

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'