Final Innings Expounder T-Shirts

Man on death bed, hand in clouds through window like umpires, 'The final out'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Church for sports worshipers.

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

Make your resolutions achievable.

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

Vendor selling testosterone.

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

Woman thinking about luxuries.

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Am Awful Crammer.

"We make substitutions within reason, Madame. We can give you courgettes instead of the aubergine, but we cannot provide Jean-Louis Trintignant in place of your husband."

Platter confusion.

The Final Selfie

"Only 35% CACAO? I'll have to eat TWICE as much then!"

"You and your daft inventions."

'It feels warm enough to me.'

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

'I don't have enough money for a tip, but feel free to eat the leftovers!'