Filth Fanatic T-Shirts

"You've opened my eyes to the most disgusting worldly delights."

The Fourth Little Pig

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

The tooth fairy.

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Television Readers.

"All I can say is thank goodness for teleconferencing."

Dragon Hair-dryer.

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

Lady of the bath...

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

More Reasons To Beware Of Dog

Characters jumping out of a book.

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

Boy and Bear and Monster

Newt sale

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

Through the Looking Glass - Queen Alice with Frog

Warrior Woman

Candle Portraits.

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"You had the power to leave all along - just click your heels three times, grab your coat, and sneak out without saying goodbye."

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

"Cthulhus, sir. Thousands of 'em."