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"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Herman Mankiewicz

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Elfie Stick

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"There appears to be a flaw in our cloaking technology."

'If I wasn't meant to destroy the world, God wouldn't have created me with atomic blasters instead of hands.'

"Stick Figure" "Stick Figure II" "Stick Figures" "Stick Figure: The Reawakening"

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

DVD extras - the making of the boxed set.

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"Spoiler alert."

Elephant ass selfie.

"And the award for the best use of AI in a movie goes to..."

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

"In the spirit of co-operation, peace and friendship with the people of Earth, we welcome Captain Zork and his incredible advanced weapons technology..."

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

'No, when something blows up it doesn't buffer, that's just special effects.'

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

"Everybody on the bus today was played by Anthony Hopkins."

'What do you mean, 'pass the remote control'?... We're at the cinema!'

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'