Film Geek T-Shirts

'That's the last time I'm sitting in the front row!'

"OK darling think gracious ... you don't care that you didn't win ...it's beneath you ... and keep clapping ..."

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

3D Glasses

DVD extras - the making of the boxed set.

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

The Really Clean Window

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Herman Mankiewicz

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Shakespeare was bisexual

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"The Eggsorcist"

"Werewolves of London..."

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Early Colour TV

"What the hell took so long?"

Doctor Frankenstein creates a new monster that makes the mob even more blood thirsty. Colour

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Giant slug attacks a city

"My favourite movie is Mrs Fire, without doubt."

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

Star Wars Audience

'Huh? Little Airmyn?'