Film Reference Fanatic Gifts

"Makes me wish I'd kept that gorilla suit."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"It turns out that if you give a hundred monkeys a hundred typewriters, eventually they'll turn out the work of Tarantino."

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

Reese Witherspoon

"Housekeeping?!"

What's an Imax cave?

"Werewolves of London..."

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

Giant slug attacks a city

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"No! I am your father!" "Noooooo!"

'Huh? Little Airmyn?'

"If I knew when this was going to end, it wouldn't be so stressful."

"Which part are you reading for?"

Star Wars Audience

"My favourite movie is Mrs Fire, without doubt."

"Haven't you already seen this movie, like, a hundred times?"

Blockbuster Billion Club

Hollywood producer.

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

"This is scary, maybe we should turn on the lights. Hello.."

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

Starvation Watching