Film Industry Insider Gifts

"It's always 'Get me a Godzilla type,' never 'Get me Godzilla!'"

"I'm not sure if the audience is ready to embrace you in a romantic comedy."

'Is this a racing movie or a porno flick?'

'Hey, Charlie, have we got good news for you!'

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

"We can stop entertaining ourselves now, Ian."

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

Death Styles of the Rich and Famous

"Once again, the epicenter seems to be Christian Slater."

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'

"A P.R. Intern Named Salome with the Head Shot of John the Client."

'See, I told you - nobody's job is safe!'

"I see you do all your own stunts."

"My lawyer doesn't trust my agent who doesn't trust the director who doesn't trust the screenwriter who doesn't trust me. All perfectly normal."

"You're going out there an annoying, mannered girl, but you're going to come back an indie queen."

When stars marry: 'Why did you ask him first? Does he have top billing?'

"They say she's gone completely Sundance."

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

This next number is when we smash our guitars...

'The global economy supplies basic tools. A lot of us get the axe.'

'And who are you wearing?'

"You know that kid that submitted a screenplay to us on the back of a restaurant menu? I'm passing on it. I like the screenplay, but I hate that restaurant."

'The music business.'

'We've decided to call off our go-slow.'

A panhandler with a sign that reads "I'll never work in this town again!".

"When I was young, music and lyrics were important! Now it's all about production...it's all jiggly butts, smoke, sexy clothes and crazy videos!"