Film Industry Observer Gifts

The Sequel is Coming

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

Tom Hanks

"That shirt is so last year."

"We can stop entertaining ourselves now, Ian."

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Hollywood Breakup

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

"Jessica has an idea about going to the beach that she'd like to pitch you."

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

Hollywood or bust!

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

Welcome to Hollywood

Casting Director

When stars marry: 'Why did you ask him first? Does he have top billing?'

Restraining orders from the stars.

"You're going out there an annoying, mannered girl, but you're going to come back an indie queen."

"So your agent doesn't like your lawyer, and your PlR. people don't like your manager. They all like you."

"I see you do all your own stunts."

"They say she's gone completely Sundance."

"A P.R. Intern Named Salome with the Head Shot of John the Client."