Film Editing Gifts

Did you see the "Star Wars" trailer? O

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Campaign for Plain English

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

Punctuation Police

Cut!

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

Your resume begins Once Upon A Time...I like that!

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

'Dad, would you ming standing up, then accidentally tripping on the dog and falling flat on your face? I'll try to get it in one shot.'

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."

"Which part are you reading for?"